Monday, May 28, 2007


There are many paths that lead to well-balanced minds and bodies.

Shane: How was Lou?
Emma: She’s fine, though mum’s a bit concerned by her getting all ‘alternative’.
Shane: What does that mean?
Emma: Well, when we got to the house, she was still in her tie-dye pyjamas – fine, had just prepared juice and toast – fine, and then she performed reiki on the toast – bit odd.
Shane: Ah.
Emma: Mm, though she did share it.
Shane: Well that’s good.
Emma: Mm.
Shane: And how did it - the toast - taste, or… feel?
Emma: (ponders) Her home-made marmalade was good.
Shane: Good.
Emma: Mm. She also persuaded me that I was probably due for another massage.
Shane: Right.
Emma: Yeah – so I’ve booked us in for next Saturday.
Shane: Oh right – not so alternative that she can’t return to blighty then.
Emma: Eh? No you fool – I’ve booked us in for next Saturday.
Shane: Mm?
Emma: You’ll enjoy it.
Shane: B-
Emma: Shush. You will.
Shane: (pause) Oh god.
Emma: (amused) Trust me, you’ll be in safe hands, you’ll enjoy it. (pause) Have you ever heard of cupping?
Shane: Spooning?
Emma: No! Cupping is like what that artist woman used to do.
Shane: Which artist woman?
Emma: That one you told me about – the one who got into pigs.
Shane: Uh?
Emma: Anyway, I might have that done instead.
Shane: You appear to be talking… foreign.

All I’d asked was ‘How was Lou’.


Zinnia Cyclamen said...

No it wasn't; you made the fatal mistake of asking follow-up questions ('What does that mean?' 'How did the toast feel?'). See, what you should have done is damped the conversation after the first two turns by moving it on to e.g. football ('Yeah, Chelsea were a bit alternative the other night...'). But it wouldn't have made for such an entertaining blog post.

I look forward to hearing about next Saturday.

Kirsty said...

oh you'll enjoy it.

Well talking about it afterwards. I love reiki, however cupping just sounds a bit rude...

OldHorsetailSnake said...

You amuse me to the plentitude. (Oh, forgot to say "old chap".)

I checked out the pig fondling, and it is so good I think I have to steal it and use it on my b**g. Some way. Somehow.

PI said...

I wonder if one can get low fat reiki? I'm goin'!