Friday, May 23, 2008


A diversion (with special thanks to Kim for this):

Related links:-

The Storytellers
work stuff
Will Self

Related comment:

'Christ man, that Shane bloke has a voice - whatever next! Him uploading pictures of his private parts?!'*

* No.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Respite (Overheard #3)

Emma and I have been working hard. Today, taking a lunch-time break, we dropped in to our local Pie Minister - they've just opened a shop-cafe near us that seems to be doing very well.

As I began to eat my Thai Chook Pie and Emma surveyed her Heidi Pie, I did nearly splurt pie fragments upon overhearing some middle-aged fellow diners:

Female: (concerned) Oh dear.

Male: What's the matter?

Female: I've just seen a woman wi' one leg. It's put me off m' pie*.

Male: (commiserating) Aaah.

* indicates moment of near-splurting.

A moment of pie-eater empathy, right there.

And beautifully rendered too.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Rhythm (Overheard #2)

It's been a good holiday weekend for muddy bike rides - Friday evening after tea, yesterday before the trip to the football, and this afternoon following the cinema trip.

The rules of Bike Club are simple:-

Pedal hard
Aim for the deepest of puddles*
The muddiest is the winner*
No running into each other - too dangerous
Make occasional glances sideways for interesting wildlife or birdlife
Get back home out of breath and ready for food and drink
Take the bikes out back, put them in the shed
Get undressed just inside the doorway
Create mountain of washing
Shower-time - first come first showered
Don't forget to wash inside of your ears

* indicates default setting for seven year olds

Late this afternoon, calling to Alex to finish up with his shower and get dried, from the bottom of the stairs I was privy to a fine overheard lyrical adaptation:

Shane: (calls) Hurry up, Alex - we're putting the film on in three minutes.

Alex: (shouts) I am hurrying! (15 seconds pass) (distantly, songfully) Heads, shoulders, knees and buttocks, knees and buttocksssss -

Shane: (to Emma) He sounds happy.

Emma: If you both return with mud on your teeth and no injuries, then I generally assume that it's been a good one.

Shane: Mm, well-observed.

Thursday, May 01, 2008


As the ripples of a falling out settled on our domestic waters, Alex, Emma and I began to watch the televised football match. We joked about the young Portuguese chap looking as though he was applying hair and face gel, before the game. Emma suggested that the Spanish team’s star man looked English, I thought he looked ugly - prophetic, that. And later, Alex chimed in with a generic insight:

Alex: It would be amazing if y’ Dad was a footballer.
Shane: Mm.
Alex: Cos he’d be rich.
Shane: Mm.
Alex: And then when he died, YOU'D be rich!
Shane: Possibly.

The Boy Wonder and I will be at our local team’s biggest match in more than two decades this weekend. Despite Emma’s objections, we have quietly agreed to join in with any pitch invasions that may subequently occur. We'll be the ones sporting red faces - not face paint or anything, oh no. We were the ones who went out for a hike around a local reservoir today - without sunblock - clever, that.