Startled

Seven year olds tend to respond well to the suggestion of competitions and races and the opportunity to rub others' noses in the dirt of defeat.

Morning:

Shane: Alright, young hound. It's a race - you've got to get fully dressed and have your teeth brushed before I'm speed-showered and dried.

Alex: (considers) Shane. (smiles)

Shane: Yeah?

Alex: Go!

I dash up the stairs, into the bathroom, gown off, shower on - hot hot hot, and I'm in.

Soapily, I hear a speed-scampering towards the unlocked bathroom door. Alex bursts in - now only half-pyjamaed (for he too is racing) and carrying Jim the cat (surely an impediment to speed-dressing), but, what's this - a flush of the loo and...

Shane: (something's not right) Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!

A running laughing boy (plus one startled cat) exits the room.

Seven year olds will remember - and utilise - facts such as When the loo is flushed, then the adjacent shower will run cold for five to ten seconds.

Shane: (calling, shivering) That is the purest evil!

Alex: (calling) Loser!*

I blame the parents.

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* I may have lost the race, but the moral victory was undeniably** mine.

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** Does not take into account the views of seven year olds.