Friday, January 18, 2008


Some mornings, young Alex is a very slow starter. Other mornings, he’s as sharp as a butterfly, ready to sting like a bee.

Shane: (bleary-eyed) Morning.
Alex: (whilst watching TV) Morning, Shane. Shane, I have some advice for you. If you ever have to stroke a snake, do not stroke it underneath its head. Ok?
Shane: Ok.
Alex: You’ve missed a good programme, here.
Shane: Mm. Sounds useful.
Alex: Yeah, it is.

Sleepily, I ate cereal, then showered. Fully lathered and slip-slide clean, Emma made an appearance at the bathroom door.

Emma: Shane.
Shane: Yeah?
Emma: You’ve got to be careful of which books you’re leaving lying around. I know you were enjoying going through the Banksy pictures with Alex, but I’ve just heard him flicking through that book and reading out loud ‘fuck pigs, fuck pigs’.
Shane: Ah.
Emma: It’s probably the first time he’s heard or read that word.
Shane: Yeah, ok.
Emma: He asked me, ‘What does ‘fuck pigs’ mean’?
Shane: What did you say?
Emma: I just said I didn't know.
Shane: Ok.

As I was drying off, I wondered whether it really would have been the first time that the young one had come across the f-word. Somehow, I doubted it.

Words, eh.


PI said...

Why do they always latch on to the naughty words? At least you didn't uttereth it. As if!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

That is an intriguing picture. Which one is Alex?

Huw said...

A disappointing post. At first I thought you were cleverly setting up a scene where you would be confronted witht a snake which needed stroking. Then I was hoping for some pig fucking.

You can imagine how I feel.

Shane said...

P - Programmed to hunt out danger, 'tis there way.
O - Ah, tish.
H - Crushed is how I imagine you feel, and understandably so. In ministerial fashion, 'I take full responsibility'. Herein, I will endeavour to up the quota of animalistic goings-on.