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The first time I ever lived with a love interest, we shared a flat that was above and to the rear of a Chinese takeaway. Entering the property on the ground floor at the back of the takeaway, we would then walk through a porch area, our kitchen and then do a u-turn left onto the foot of the stairs. At the top of the stairs, the bedrooms and sitting room were off a short corridor to the left, the bathroom and toilet were at the end of a short corridor directly ahead.

Looking back, I see a heady romance, tinged with noodles.

To a finger-clicking beat of 60 beats per minute, here’s an architecture-inspired songpoemthing from the archives (NB/ It is fictional... mostly):

At ease
Without any cares
I wandered
Slowly up the stairs
To
Behold
A sight ahead of me

My heart -
It missed a beat
As there
She did greet
Me
Whilst taking a pee

Her look on the throne
It gave me a bone
I didn’t know constipation could do this

As she gripped her thighs
I stepped forth with glazed eyes
Knelt down and gave her a kiss

It felt so right
Her cheeks glowed so bright
Must have been love
Or a stomach ache

Romance and bowel problems
For heaven’s sake
A good combination
They
Do not make

I’d
Fallen in love
With a girl sitting on the loo
I’d
Fallen in love
With a girl trying to poo
Number two.

(fade)

(forgive)

© 2007 Shane Wexford

The right of Shane Wexford to be identified, frowned upon and pilloried as author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.